Monday, April 18, 2011

Is Life Really Unfair?

So often we ponder over "Why me?"
... as if we were being victimised by Life arbitrarily, unjustly.
Whether to ourselves or to others or to God, but how often have we not grumbled about Life being unreasonably unfair (particularly to us) saying -- "Why am I in this situation when others are in a better one?”

But in reality, each one of us gets his fair share of sunshine and so as the rain, in his life, depending upon his karmic deeds.
Different people define "Life" in different ways and each one of us is unique. Perhaps that's why, we all have different lessons to learn to grow.

"Some flowers grow best in the sun while others do well in the shade.
God always knows what is best for us ... so He plants us where we would grow best and accordingly gives us the situations to grow with...."

And that's how life goes... not always will it turn the way we would want it to. Some days will be better than the other ones.. and some won't be....
Not all the time will we rejoice... Sometimes we will be made to weep. That's how Life balances out.
Some times we will make mistakes, sometimes we will stumble, sometimes we will be taken by surprise, being knocked down hard when we would be least expecting it. Sometimes we will be hurt... sometimes we will be scarred. But that is perhaps God's way of letting us explore every corner of ourself, leaving no spot uncovered. So instead of comparing and complaining, if we start viewing the obstacles, the adversities in life as speed-breakers which were meant to save us from the bigger accidents ahead, our ride on the path of life (though mayn't become smooth enough thereafter, but) won't be that uncomfortable or won't seem that bumpy and rough.

An arrow can be shot only by pulling it back. So when life is dragging us back with adversities, it means that it is going to launch us to victory.
Accepting that everything happens for a reason and that I will never be finished, rather I will always be "a work-in-progress", I will henceforth never ask Life “Why me?... instead I will say “Try me”.

Thursday, April 14, 2011

Saying "YES" is easy, saying "NO" is a harder skill...

"No" is so often hard to say.. because mostly, people on the receiving end tend to take a "NO" for an answer in a disrespectful, disappointing way.. and the person saying the "NO", more often than not, is concerned with the fear of having alienated the person on the receiving end and jeopardising the relationship.
But one should not err in prioritising... There is no reason to comply with the wishes or requests of someone who is undeserving of it all!
It is great to help others and not leave them in the lurch, but only if they are worthy of it.
Considering the needs of others is important but only if they are deserving of it...

Saying "Yes" to people who didn’t respect my time or took me for granted or were just taking advantage of me, by complying with their requests, I was actually, in a way, being unfair to myself ...
Then I realised that every time I said YES to something, I was actually saying NO to something else (and that "something else" might have been more important and more rightly deserved my attention). But now, I have learnt a very good lesson that "to be able to say YES to the rightly important things/people, I have to say NO to a lot of other unimportant things/people". More importantly, I have now learnt the skill of correctly prioritising the right things and the right people in my life...
I still firmly believe that "in LIFE, the letter 'I' comes second..."
but now I have added a special clause to it -- I will come second but "only for those who are deemed worthy of it".. and never for the undeserving ones ever again.

One shouldn't be tempted to say a YES to someone's request, if he isn't genuinely satisfied for having said so...
Keeping it simple... One should say YES only where he/she feels he/she genuinely can/should
or else should say an honest NO... :-)
“A 'NO' uttered from deepest conviction is better and greater than a 'YES' merely uttered to please, or what is worse, to avoid trouble.” ~~ Mahatma Gandhi 

I have now understood that saying NO is okay .. I might disappoint the one on the receiving end but I have to be clear and honest in my answer... and I should say it sincerely. If the person on the receiving end is open-minded, he/she will understand the genuine reasons for the NO and will gracefully accept it.
I have now learnt how to say a respectful, decisive NO.... and saying it effectively...

Whether to say YES or to say NO?? The question might seem to be tricky... but the key to its answer (becomes simpler and) lies in GETTING THE PRIORITIES RIGHT.


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